How Not to Write a Novel

This is not one of those books. On the contrary, this is a collection of terrible, awkward, and laughably unreadable excerpts that will teach you what to avoid—at all costs—if you ever want your novel published.

How Not to Write a Novel

How Not to Write a Novel

"What do you think of my fiction book writing?" the aspiring novelist extorted. "Darn," the editor hectored, in turn. "I can not publish your novel! It is full of what we in the business call 'really awful writing.'" "But how shall I absolve this dilemma? I have already read every tome available on how to write well and get published!" The writer tossed his head about, wildly. "It might help," opined the blonde editor, helpfully, "to ponder how NOT to write a novel, so you might avoid the very thing!" Many writing books offer sound advice on how to write well. This is not one of those books. On the contrary, this is a collection of terrible, awkward, and laughably unreadable excerpts that will teach you what to avoid—at all costs—if you ever want your novel published. In How Not to Write a Novel, authors Howard Mittelmark and Sandra Newman distill their 30 years combined experience in teaching, editing, writing, and reviewing fiction to bring you real advice from the other side of the query letter. Rather than telling you how or what to write, they identify the 200 most common mistakes unconsciously made by writers and teach you to recognize, avoid, and amend them. With hilarious "mis-examples" to demonstrate each manuscript-mangling error, they'll help you troubleshoot your beginnings and endings, bad guys, love interests, style, jokes, perspective, voice, and more. As funny as it is useful, this essential how-NOT-to guide will help you get your manuscript out of the slush pile and into the bookstore.

More Books:

How Not to Write a Novel
Language: un
Pages: 262
Authors: Howard Mittelmark, Sandra Newman
Categories: Fiction
Type: BOOK - Published: 2009 - Publisher: Penguin Books

There are many ways prospective authors routinely sabotage their own work. But why leave it to guesswork? This title shows how you can ensure that your manuscript never rises above the level of unpublishable drivel; that your characters are unpleasant, dimensionless versions of yourself; and that your plot is digressive,
How Not to Write a Novel
Language: un
Pages: 272
Authors: Howard Mittelmark, Sandra Newman
Categories: Reference
Type: BOOK - Published: 2008-04-01 - Publisher: William Morrow Paperbacks

"What do you think of my fiction book writing?" the aspiring novelist extorted. "Darn," the editor hectored, in turn. "I can not publish your novel! It is full of what we in the business call 'really awful writing.'" "But how shall I absolve this dilemma? I have already read every
How Not to Write a Novel
Language: un
Pages: 256
Authors: David Armstrong
Categories: Language Arts & Disciplines
Type: BOOK - Published: 2011-11-04 - Publisher: Allison & Busby

Every week, agents and publishers in this country receive hundreds of manuscripts from would-be authors. Of these, fewer than one per cent will make it into print. David Armstrong was one of the one per-centers, his first crime novel plucked from the slush pile at a major publisher and published
How Not to Write a Novel
Language: un
Pages: 272
Authors: Howard Mittelmark, Sandra Newman
Categories: Language Arts & Disciplines
Type: BOOK - Published: 2009-03-17 - Publisher: Harper Collins

"What do you think of my fiction book writing?" the aspiring novelist extorted. "Darn," the editor hectored, in turn. "I can not publish your novel! It is full of what we in the business call 'really awful writing.'" "But how shall I absolve this dilemma? I have already read every
How Not to Write
Language: un
Pages: 160
Authors: William Safire
Categories: Language Arts & Disciplines
Type: BOOK - Published: 2005 - Publisher: W. W. Norton & Company

This basic grammar book highlights fifty mock rules, each using the mistake it purports to correct, such as the "Passive voice should never be used" and "A writer must not shift your point of view."

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